I thought one of the hardest things to do as a Singletini is to get through family occasions with the aging aunty asking why I’m not married yet. It seems it’s not. You see, you EXPECT aunties to want to know when you’re getting married as buying a hat for your wedding is one of the few things they have to look forward to in their busy lives of buying cat food and poking the youth of today with their sticks in a disapproving manner. What I don’t expect to have to deal with is my own friends asking the question.
I recently met “the girls” for dinner. We’re a group of friends that in our early 20s used to always hang out in the same bar, our boyfriends at the time were all friends too so we were somewhat of a mass clique. Our lives in our late 20s/early 30s are somewhat different, and all the boys are long gone, only to be replaced with grown up, serious relationships. There’s the pregnant one, the mother, the newly married, the engaged and the one in the new relationship… and Me. As they all discussed morning sickness, labour, sleepless nights and breast-feeding I was quite smug in the knowledge that I had taken my contraceptive pill that morning, did not have to pay the babysitter when I got home, would be sleeping in to recover from my hangover and would not be popping out to buy nappies the next day but may treat myself to the Kurt Geiger wedges that have been smiling at me from the department store window. I was mildly jealous when the newly engaged discussed her forthcoming honeymoon to the Maldives but reminded myself that I could actually afford the Maldives without having to go through the expense of buying 100 people dinner first.
But then came the question…
”So, what about you? Have you found yourself a boyfriend yet?”
All eyes around the table are looking at me. Have I found a boyfriend YET. As if my entire life’s focus for the past 2 years was to find myself a boyfriend. Not to exorcise the ghost of the last relationship, rebuild my confidence, lose the relationship weight (gained over 7 years of restaurants, takeaways and lazy weekends) pay off all my debts and generally ”find myself”. No. Have I found a boyfriend YET? There was a definite undertone of ‘why is it taking so long’.
So I did what any Single Girl should do in the same situation. I smiled, flicked my hair over my shoulder and came out with a suitably witty retort explaining that I have been too busy being fabulous and there’s not a guy out there that can keep up with me at the moment.
I avoided eye contact though… as fabulous as I know my life is; I know the smug marrieds and mummies would still have that slight look of pity in their eyes. But next time I see them the pity will turn to jealously as I’m off to buy those KG shoes…
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