Single girls are like Vampires. You invite us in to your social circle and we will start picking off your men folk one by one until they are nothing more than lifeless corpses. We are like Witches. We will hypnotize men in relationships so that their partners cease to exist in their heads and seduce the poor defenseless boys so that they become our personal sex slaves. We will of course then leave them bewildered and send them back to their wives and girlfriends.
This is, of course, bull shit.
Whilst there are certain harlots out there that will move in on a man regardless, or because of, his relationship, can you please stop tarring us all with the same brush?
I went to a wedding at the weekend. I was invited by the groom who I have known for 15 years. The only people I knew to talk to were the groom’s male friends from university as I had visited him there and in more recent years I have tagged along to their yearly boy’s-day-at-the-rugby. That’s just the kind of girl I am, I have mostly male friends who cease to see me as a girl and tend to include me as one of the boys. So I drag my Partner in Crime along to the wedding as my Plus One and I introduce her to the boys (she had met the best man previously, but no one else.) The boys, in turn, introduce us to their wives and girlfriends. I am aware, instantly, that there is a ‘them and us’ atmosphere developing. I always try to make a concerted effort with the female partners of any of my male friends – but some make it harder than others. In many cases I have ended up with great girl mates as a result of them dating a boy mate of mine.
So, there we are, two single girls in a room full of couples and the only people we know to chat to are accompanied by girls that eye us with disdain and mistrust. My evil streak wanted to push their buttons and flirt like hell with the boys but it’s a wedding reception and the last thing I want to cause is a cat fight – especially as I’d win. Have you seen my claws?
So instead, I gave up trying to make polite conversation and end up sat on the terrace smoking cigars and drinking whiskey with the groom and his ushers whilst PIC is being spun round the dance floor like a rock and roll whirlwind by the best man.
At this point I’d like to point out that I snogged the groom as a teenager after too much stolen cider and may have found the best man attractive when I first met him but soon learned that he’s not my type personality wise. The rest of the gang I have never found attractive and have never, ever so much as flirted with to get my own way let alone tried it on with anyone seriously.
Tell this to the girlfriends.
PIC comes storming over to where I’m sat, clearly agitated. Seems two of the wives had grabbed her whilst she was dancing and pushed her in to a corner. They made it perfectly clear to the PIC that the best man had a girlfriend and that the PIC should leave him alone as she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. I was seriously unimpressed. We’re at a wedding reception, not the toilets of my old high school. The best man’s girlfriend wasn’t even friends with these girls. Both wives then make their way out to their husbands, who of course I’m sat with, and plonk themselves on their laps, arms around them possessively and sit at a perfect angle to glare at me.
Immediately you can spot the strongest relationships at the reception. The bride and groom barely saw each other all night. She danced with his friends and he danced with hers. The best man was spinning anyone from bridesmaids to aging aunties round the dance floor whilst his girlfriend was doing shots at the bar with his work colleagues. These people are that strong in their relationships that they do not have to spend every second with each other. The girls that felt they had to ‘warn off’ the PIC and then mark their territory by making sure they had physical contact with their other halves all night should take a step back and look at the strength of their relationship. If you can’t trust your husband to be around a single girl in a room full of people AND YOU, then you have serious issues! What was going through your mind? Did you think that because PIC and I are single we would cast a spell on your husband and drag him off to a darkened corner to have our wicked way with him? Get over yourself. I’ve shared a cab with him, drunk, on my own and not made a move, so why would I in front of you?
Just because I’m single does not mean I want every bloke that comes within a mile radius of me. I’ve been single for two years because I’m choosy – and I wouldn’t choose yours if it was covered in chocolate.
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